I’ve actually been in the Philippines for a week na. It was my moms birthday and I really wanted to spend some time with her (and my family and friends and pets). She’s actually doing better now than she did 3 weeks ago, when she couldn’t get up from bed and was in pain and was sleeping with an oxygen mask na. Now she tries to walk with some assistance and can sit up and eat more. Lumakwatsa pa nga sa bar ng tito ko one time heehe.
Considering that last July they said life expectancy for someone with her stage 4 lung cancer and mets was 3 months and she’s still alive now, I guess its not too bad. Moms a fighter and we all keep hoping she stays longer and gets better. She’s currently on Tarceva and taking some transfer factor. We’re doing one more month of Tarceva and then maybe stopping because we just can’t afford it. Sometimes nga I get so upset and wish we had more money so we could keep her on it, but it’s just so so expensive and however I try to study the finances, we just cannot sustain the cost 
Puta I’ve been feeling so sad over the fact na it has become a matter of money.
In a way I’m pissed off at her doctor because the doctor never outlined possible treatments and costs. If we knew we could have prepared more hay. Akala ko chemo was the last because after that and even after her tumor was growing the doctor said nothing. It was only when she was bedridden and akala ko mamamatay na that the doctor says “Meron pang last ditch treatment when chemo doesn’t work. It’s Tarceva and theres something na a 30 to 40 percent chance lang that it works but it costs 150k for 30 pills, so you may want to consider that” Why did she wait that long when months before the tests showed some progression na and Tarceva was already an option then. If she was thinking mahal and maliit lang ang chance she had no karapatan to not tell us. We should have been advised of options then. So we could decide if we would proceed and then we could have made arrangements if we decided then. She should not have hit us at the last minute, especially as alam naman nya yung drup has been around na for a few years e. It didn’t come up lang naman in the last 2 months. And this is what I am really upset about - she never said that it was a maintenance thing - yun pala it was “take it indefinitely until it doesn’t work na”. So we could have saved more diba? I feel so guilty for buying shoes and other expenses I would not have if we had known the Tarceva was so expensive. Haaay she said take it for a month and then when we said the month was over she looked at moms blood test results and said “oy it seems to be working so take it for another month” Akkk you should have seen me namutla talaga ako. And we needed to buy it the next day. Paano ko agad huhugutin yung pera? What does she think? Everyone has unlimited money and can pull out that amount on the same day?
In any case I am glad mom has had 2 months of Tarceva because that and/or her Transfer Factor has improved her condition (since we started both at the same time we can’t really tell which one, or if both, or if any is what helped her improve. Hee pwede nga she improved because she was looking forward to me coming home diba?)
The good thing is she’s agreeing to try some alternative treatments that I have been reading since she was diagnosed with cancer. It’s nothing radical. more like cutting out all red meat, having a lot more veggies, no sugar, and more healthy oils. I had wished she was agreeable to this from before because from what I read people have actually gotten way better (some even cured) through this program. It’s a lot of work for the people with her though, pero what can we do? e di pagsakripisyohan nalang. I wish I were with her now because I can usually direct people. Well, I guess I can still do that naman. I just have to be more vigilant and do my phone call checkups.
We’ll work with what we have, I can’t see the point in losing hope. Sure talo na yon.
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