Archive for the 'one step closer' Category

True Confessions of a Shocked B2B and her Proxy Fiance’

** I thought this post was lost for good, but apparently I had a draft of it in my old blogger blog.This reminds me of the *fun* wedding preps that didn’t prepare us for the challenge, and fun, and shock, that is marriage.


2004. Bridal Fair in one of Manila’s hotels. Not the biggest bridal fair around, in fact the place isn’t filled with suppliers, and the mood is a bid subdued.
Main Characters:
Mai – harried Bride-to-be, sarcastic squinty person who is more prone to making nasty remarks than saying kind words, still undecided about most of their wedding suppliers, frequent visitor of bridal fairs as she hopes to finally decide on and book their suppliers.

Erik – Mai’s friend from her elementary days, faithful companion to wedding fairs, kinder than Mai, but still with AH traits inherent in all Mai’s friends. Generally introduced at wedding fairs as (1) the bridesmaid, (2) the bride, (3) the fiance’

Shutterbug – Pushy photographer. Really quite good, but a bit too full of himself.
Mai and Erik case the fair. It isn’t very big, and in fact the suppliers don’t even fill up the function room. Nothing much they haven’t seen before – except a booth selling kinky underwear which has a poster of a model in a thong, complete with pubic stubble (hello Photoshop please), and a potential florist – 2171 Flowers – whose albums are filled with beautiful stylized arrangements. Mai and Erik agree that 2171 merits a 2nd look, but are a bit shocked to learn that a lily-of-the-valley bouquet would set you back from 15,000 – 20,000 bucks. Oh yeah, and a bagpiper.
Mai: slim pickings, eh?

Erik: Yeah. Not the most rewarding fair visit we’ve made.

Mai: what say you we leave. Grab a bite to eat. Window shop.

Erik: Sold!
Mai and Erik walk toward the exit and pass Shutterbug’s booth.
Bug: (smiles widely) Helloooo ladies.

Mai: Hello

Bug: So ladies, can I show you my work??

Mai: Actually..

Bug: Here here come here have a seat here here take an album and have a look at my work….my work, beautiful

Mai: Actually…we were just leaving (to herself: ahhh, I wanna leave)

Bug: Ladies!!! Have a seat!!! So who is getting married? (looks at Mai and Erik)

Mai: Me…but actually…

Bug: Ahhh good. Here, have an album

Mai: (to herself – actually, I’ve already booked our photographer….)

Bug: So when is your wedding? Ah….Feb 2005??? So far away! Ahhh, Tsk tsk tsk, I will need to charge you an extra 10,000 pesos then. But lucky you, I am not yet booked for that day!

Mai: (to herself – WTF, stupid Mai, you should have told him you’ve already got a photographer booked, now you have to sit politely, listen to his swill, and waste both your times)

Erik: (to herself – WTF, stupid Mai, get the balls to tell him you’ve already got a photographer so we can leave and eatttt!!!!)

Mai: Ah….you see…

Bug: (interrupts) : HERE! Sign my directory. Lucky you! I don’t ask just anybody to sign, you know — they have to be special…because I pick my work! I dont shoot just anyone!!

Mai: (to herself: Just shoot me then you fucking idiot hehah!)

Bug: Now you see, what I do, it is not just weddings, you know, it is FASHION! You will look FASHION!!

Mai: Huh?

Erik: (to herself: Putangina)

Bug: Here, look at this shot, is it not FASHION!!! the RAINBOW LIGHTING!!! the MOOD!!! so GLAMOROUS!!! lucky BRIDE!!! Shot by ME!! The SKILL, the EYE!!! the GENIUS!!! You know

Mai: Uhh, welllll…

Erik: (to herself: Putangina)

Mai: Ahehehe (tries to rifle through the album and sees a photo of wedding rings…)

Bug: Oh yes! look at THAT!!! those WEDDING RINGS, shot so beautifully, so FASHION!

Mai: (to herself: What the hell is this…could it be….)

Bug: Look look at the PICTURE!!

Mai: (to herself: PUTANGINA!!!! Its a PUBIC HAIR!!! Stuck to the photo!!! POTAPOTAPOTA)

Mai: (tries to flip to another page)

Bug: (flips page back to hairy ring photo) WAIT!!! LOOK AT THAT PHOTO!! See how I shot the RINGS! You know!! Not like how other ORDINARY photographers would. I do it in FASHION!!! You know!!

Mai: (tries to flip to another page) Ahhh Look at THIS PHOTO! It looks FASHION!!!

Bug: (flips page back to hairy ring photo) WAIT!!! LOOK AT THAT RING PHOTO!! Let me explain my FASHION STYLE!! Those RINGS, shot in FASHION, you know!

Mai: (tries to flip to another page) Ahhh but this other photo is NICE!! PHOTO!!! FASHION!!!

Bug: !!!WAIT!!! (flips back to rings and holds album very firmly) LET ME EXPLAIN MY FASHION STYLE!!!

Mai: (eyes glaze over, listens submissively)

Mai and Erik leave the fair and start walking around the mall.
Mai: Yo, Erik, did you see the hair?

Erik: What hair?

Mai: (mimics Erik) “What hair???” What hair?!! That fucking wiry little pubic hair that was stuck to the picture of “the rings….YOU KNOW” There was a PUBIC HAIR stuck to the picture…and it was this close to my nose!” You just missed the single remarkable thing that happened in this fucking fair. Hehah!!!

Erik: Whatttt??? YAKKK! That’s just too gross.

Mai: I know….

Erik and Mai continue walking

Erik: Hey, what do you think…how did it get there…

Mai: Eeeh. Dunno, it’s really strange. I mean, he doesn’t do his layouts in the nude right? Gross. What does he do, jack off to the photos??? Putawattafuck

Erik and Mai continue walking, in deep thought

Erik: Unless, unless…you know….he liked the bride….

Mai: Or….he liked the groom


Geez. I find it quite hard to believe that J and I have been married for 6 months already.

Well, technically we were only together for a week or so and we never really went into an adjustment period (we’ve got time to do that in SF), but 6 months is 6 months — and even if he is not around it is quite different how I go about things now — always considering him in the decisions I make :)

When J gets here we will spend a couple days in Boracay — this time at Nami Villas. I’ve always looked longingly at the place when we are at the beach, and I’m quite excited to sit at the balcony, with a frosty glass of pina colada at a table beside me, and watch the beach below. Hopefully we get to go to Mandala for a great massage again (and I am really longing to have an “Exhale” session)

We’ve gotten the revised album layout from Pilar and although I still have some niggles about a spread or two, most are good to go. J and I will finalise comments and get back to her by mid next week.

I cant wait to get the album. I really love the heaviness, and mattiness, and period-ishness of it all.

My dad picks up the neighborhood stray cats and takes them to the animal shelter every Spay Day to get them fixed for free. He usually catches 2 or so at a time, and then nurses them until they have recovered from the operation before setting them free again. We really cannot take in all the strays we find, but Papi does this trap-neuter-release thing in the hope that the number of future strays gets minimized.

I was at the office last night finishing some work when Papi called me on my mobile. One of the strays he had fixed was bleeding profusely from her incision — and despite his cleaning and bandaging the wound the bleeding had not stopped.

So at midnight we found ourselves on the way to the vet together with Mother (the name Papi gave the bleeding cat) and Mike (a male cat he had fixed earlier that day who had to go with us since we had no spare cages left for him). The vet and his assistant placed a pressure bandage around Mother’s stomach and placed her on an IV drip. They did not operate because the loss of blood had left her weak and opening her up immediately ran a high risk of her dying.

I got a call from Dra. Siday to tell me that the wound had not stopped bleeding and that they would need to operate. They found that the stitches inside her had slipped and that there was a muscle tear as well. They restitched her and placed her on an IV drip, and gave her painkillers and antibiotics (as she had a fever).

I hope she gets better quickly.

ETA: Mother’s a-ok and back on the street.

Wedding Album

I visited Pilar to check out the draft layouts of our wedding album a couple of weeks ago. Still needs some refining IMO. I don’t know….I feel there’s a bit too much of the preparation shots and too little of the reception / Manila Pen shots.

Pilar said its a very rough draft, and I can either ask Kate, her assistant, to make the layout changes; or wait for her to get back from her Spain vacation in early June. I think I’ll wait, as I would rather have her personal input on the album.

I’ve left the commenting to J, as he has a bunch of favorite shots he would like incorporated. I really should make a compilation of mine (but there’s more than a thousand to choose from!) Maybe I’ll ask Berty to have a look as well, because I really trust her opinions.

We chose a traditional wedding album because we found it more elegant. I want ours to be focused, streamlined, disciplined. Classic. I just cant seem to wrap my mind around a digital album. Of course there are still some photographers like Mimi, who make ones that have that well thought out, disciplined feel, but more often than not the digital albums tend to have too many photos that distract my eyes…the pinoy tendency for horror vacui and all…

What the?

I am quite annoyed. Blogger has eaten 2 posts of mine already. Grrrr.

I went to the mall yesterday for a cup of coffee and ended up having laser hair removal at Clarity. There was a free slot when I inquired so I decided to get it done. Wasn’t bad at all. The pain was minimal, although the smell of burning hair was a bit upsetting. I kept worrying that the laser would accidentally zap the hair on my head ehehee.

So now I’ve got reddish skin that’s a bit painful. Will be back next month for another session. Sana I get it all done by the time I leave for SF.

I still haven’t gotten the marriage certificate from the NSO! Ayayay. My MIL has been following up almost everyday and has just been told that although the certificates from the City Hall are already with them, the release is next Thursday pa daw. Fucking government, all they need to do is photocopy the certificate on their special paper.

I once read an article in the paper about Jack’s Loft having the “best ever cheesecake”. Being the lemming I sometimes am, I decided to order this soon after the review.

Bah! Ang sama. Dry, sweet, biscocho-like crap. :( The neighborhood coffee shop beside our office has cheesecake way better than this! Ewww. what a waste of money.

Are these reviews funded by the restaurants? I felt like sending the left-over cheesecake to the writer, together with a nasty message.

Mom and I had lunch at J’s parents’ house Saturday. The food was great…I can really understand why J is picky with food…growing up in a home with food like that. My MIL cooks really well, even something as simple as breaded fish fillet gets a special sauce – that turns out to be really simple to make.

Fish Fillet Dip

  • Boil an egg
  • Mash the yolk and some of the white
  • Add dijon mustard
  • Add mayonnaise

She also prepared a salad with pine nuts, bacon and grapes; some sashimi; caldereta; and a seafood brocolli pasta. Dessert was some iced spanish melon (never saw this before), and white chocolate mousse which we bought in Gateau de Manille. Sarap!

If I lived in their house I would probably weigh 200 pounds.

Thank you!

Whew. Finally done with the Thankyou cards. Had originally thought I bit off more than I could chew, with wanting blank cards so I could write the messages myself (that just seemed more personal). It’s not that hard pala, just tedious because I have to do about 10 at a time.

Had a great time at Peejay’s. He prepared a late dinner (1:30AM – what can I say? My friends and I are bats) at his place in Cavite, and it was so nice to be one of the few cars on Edsa and the South Superhighway.

Peejay’s a great cook. We had devilled eggs, chicken oriental salad, mechado and garlic rice, and a Baileys cheesecake for dessert. It took a bit of a while to eat though, as Berts kept stopping us because she wanted to take photos of the food. I’ll post the pics as soon as she sends them.

Happy Tummy.

Am worrying a bit about who will replace me in the office. I will be calling one of my former UP Arki classmates this coming week. I hope everything works out. Fingers crossed.

13 years

13 years ago today, J and I had an esquisse and painted the UP Carillon together. By the end of the day one gave the other a kiss (we still argue about who started it)

We were such kids then, only in our first year at UP, and I thought nothing would go wrong. I never thought I was the mushy sort of girl, but I loved him so much my stomach hurt and I could hardly breathe.

What an innocent.

Broke up. Went with someone else. Talked again. Got back together, a lot more wary and jaded. It wasn’t easy at first because I would always remember our horrible breakup and how I lost direction, was so depressed, felt so helpless.

But di mapigil, and after some time I felt like…home. Like J was the base on which I would anchor myself. I would never really feel whole without him.

Then we both left Manila for work. I came back, he stayed abroad. We saw each other only about once every 2 years.

Phone calls, IM, occasional frissons of fear because I would think what if he met someone else and emailed me goodbye.

Last year he went back to Manila, we drove to UP again, sat in front of the Carillon. We didn’t say “Happy Anniversary” to each other because we’re really not that sort. But we both knew why we were sitting on the grass at the same exact spot we sat 12 years before.

And then he said “Mai, close your eyes” And I did.

And when I opened them he was holding a pair of jeans I was dying to have. I didn’t know what to do. Laugh at myself for thinking I was getting a proposal, or cry because I suddenly thought “This is it!” and was mistaken.

I reached over for the jeans and said thank you.

Then he handed over the ring.

Still on names

I know this isn’t related to post-marriage name changes really, but Berts and I were talking about how names get changed after marriage (i.e. do you drop your maiden name – aggg hate that term “maiden name” as if you suddenly get a “matron name” ba?; hyphenate your name, keep your name, etc etc.)

Some ideas:

  • Go conyo and use “y“. This is best suited for Spanish sounding names (Marta Gonzalez y Rocha is better than Hermenegilda Salunguhit y Abubakar)
  • Change your name completely, like from “Macaria Didangalen” to “Evita Jones”.
  • Do a Madonna and change your single first name completely (from “Madonna” to “Esther”)
  • Have a stage name (like “Apple”), which you can use to define your multiple moods / personas. “Green Apple” – tart and saucy, “Red Apple” – sweet, “Crabapple” – bitchy. “Today I am…..CRAB-APPLE
  • Drop your last name completely and just have a single name (from “Gretchen Baretto” to “Gretchen / Greta”)
  • If you want, you can add “the” in front of your name….i.e. “The Gretchen”. This is best used by referring to yourself in the 3rd person at all times, like the Queen of England. “The Gretchen will go to gym at RCBC today” “The Gretchen wants another BVLGARI ring”. You could also use “La” as in “La Greta” “La Greta will not speak with those reporters”
  • a variation… (from Berty) use “La” in front of your Last Name. La Aunor has been in LA for the longest time…”
  • Use a symbol, and be “the person formerly known as Mia”.

You may think I don’t have much to do today, idle minds, idle thoughts, blah blah. Actually I am once again avoiding my work.


Last night I dreamt that I was hit on the face with a 2″x4″ plank of wood and was grimacing and teary-eyed in pain.

It wasn’t a dream pala. I woke up with the side of my face throbbing and a block of laminated Medium Density Fiberboard beside my head. Must have knocked it over in my sleep.

Thankfully no bruises. Yet.

Short rant about our postal system.

I can’t believe I just spent 1300 bucks to courier 4 pages of insurance forms to J. It’s so expensive. I decided to send 2 sets of the forms, and a copy of Pilar’s brochure to J, just to try and rationalize the cost.

Why o why can’t our postal system be more efficient? I can’t even send documents with confidence that it will reach the receiver.

J says that in the US you can actually send checks through the mail. Imagine that? I’ve actually experienced not getting confirmed packages and letters…no money in the packages naman, only some magazines, etc. Fucking bunch of thieves and parasites. I hope hell has a steaming cauldron of boiling mercury just for dishonest postal workers.

And do you know that it not costs 53 bucks a minute to call the US Consulate for Visa appointments and queries? Thats aside from the 100USD you have to pay as Visa application fee. Plus, you can’t call through Globe pa, only through Smart and PLDT. And only during business hours na lang.

Hay nako. Pissdom.

I’ve been browsing the site of Renaissance Albums to check out what we ordered from Pilar. Very pretty. We got the black 20-page album with mats, with a cut-out at the cover for a photo insert. I can’t wait to get it 😀

Still trying to sift through Mimi’s photos. I’m trying to cut her 1000+ shots down to 200 or so. I think I’ve got some of my favorites na though.

MOH waiting

Praning Veil Shot

Still another of me smoking hahah! I like that it’s just color and light. Almost like a painting.

Steering Wheel




Dami pala favorites hahah.


Writing thank you cards is more difficult than I expected. I don’t want to give a “formula” message but all the writing is starting to drain me.

1st Yoga class tomorrow. I just bought a mat today at Toby’s because the Nike ones (although prettier) were too expensive.

I hope I don’t ache too much.


How do you go about dealing with your new name?

I opened joint bank accounts with J using my new name (his last name) but I still use my single name for work and office bank accounts.

I’m thinking to just use my single name for work, and my new name for legal documents. J doesn’t really care.

Which reminds me about a conversation (if you could call it that) between me and some manyakis fisherman while I was in HS.

My friends and I would go to Matabungkay Beach in Batangas a couple of times a year to sun ourselves, as my lola had a resthouse there. This was more than 10 years ago, and bikinis were not a common sight on the beach.

I had one friend, Jenny, who was fashion forward enough to wear a bikini while sunning herself on a balsa (large raft with a small shed on it). She lay on a bench while the balsa rocked about 30 meters off the beach.

She must have looked really attractive because while I was playing pusoy dos with my friends I suddenly noticed a banca circling the raft, with a bunch of snarky looking men paddling like idiots with their eyes popping out everytime they passed in front of Jenny

Mai: Oy! What the fuck are you doing?

Men: (ignore Mai)

Mai: (blood pressure rising) Oy! Tumigil na kayo (Stop it)!

Men: (ignore Mai, continue paddling and ogling)

Mai: (angry) Oy, mga Putangina nyo! Tigilan nyo na yan, mga manyak! Jenny! will you fucking sit up and close your goddam legs, theyre fucking feasting on you.

Jenny: (wakes up) Ack!


One of the Men: At bakit? Hindi kami aalis.

Mai: Get lost animals!

One of the Men: (belligerently) At bakit? Sino ka ba???

Mai: Ako….ako….ako si Mai MATABUNGKAY!!!!

side comment

Gaily (another friend): At ako naman si Gaily Resort.