Archive for the 'stories for boys (and girls)' Category

Bus trials

So I’ve not been too lucky riding the bus recently.  I’m standing all the time, and today the express bus I usually take went AWOL so we all had to wait for the next one.  Of course it was as full as heck when it arrived and the muni operator shook his head when I waited by the front door, and signaled for us to enter via the back.

Now I cant understand what it is about most riders that they either (1) dont move back, or when they do (2) they congregate at the rear door and dont move further to the rear.  So what happens is you can’t enter because the bus it too full at the front, and you have a hell of a time getting off.

Damned if I didn’t end up on the rear stairs because the people wouldn’t move back.  It was like we weren’t there, me and 2 other women who were trying to squeeze into about 6″ square of footspace each.  They didn’t even look, grrr.

In despair and annoyance I sort of hurled myself into the bunch of people crowded in the aisle in front of me.  Hee, I thought, what the fuck, I can do a dive…they’ll move.

And they did, hehe.  I got dirty looks, but did the same thing they were doing, and pretended not to see :P

Lakas tama circa 2004

2am, deadline the next day — and braindead already.

Sea Coconut cocktail

It’s going to be a long night.

Valentine’s Day

Lait gang style, from R*berta

R*berta’s valentine greeting

Trader Joels

J speaking while driving near Trader Joe’s:

Hey I should have a store…Trader J’s or Trader Joel’s…the slogans would be:

It may not be organic…but it’s BIG!!!

It may have some antibiotics…but it’s CHEAP!!!

Snippet from my Manila “vacation”, Feb 2006

Kausap: Hey, are you in Manila?

Mai: Ya, been here 2 weeks na. I’m leaving tomorrow, as a matter of fact

Blah, blah… chitter chitter…

Mai: Gad it’s been stressfull at the office. We had to fire our accountant, putanginang yon kailangan ko pang awayin para magtrabaho.

Kausap: Ay ano ba position mo diyan ngayon, Chairwoman Emeritus?

Mai: On-call exterminator

Keep the change

When I was at the airport waiting for my flight to Narita (JAL flight to SF, and btw if you ride this airline from SF to Tokyo and back and you’re going economy I suggest you ask for the Exit seats because they are the cramped-est seats I have ever ridden, and I’m the great coach cowgirl)

Woo, that was a bit wordy no? Anyway I’ll start again.
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When I was at the NAIA waiting for my flight I decided to get some coffee at the Kopi Roti near the departure waiting area. I paid for the 55-peso coffee with a 100-peso bill and while I was waiting for my change I noticed these 2 janitors leaning by the wall near Kopi-Roti and they were making side comments to the tune of

Janitors 1 and 2: Ayaaaannnn, may sukli. Ayan ibabalato na sa atin. Ayay. Ibigay mo na! Amin na lang (Heyyy, there’s some change. Woot. The change will be given to ussss… Woot. Comeon. Give us the change. Comeon…) All this being said out of the side of their mouths and without looking me in the eye.

I was wondering what the hell the 2 of them were talking about when it suddenly dawned on me that they were talking about my change and making sideways remarks about how I should just hand them the change.

Me: Hoy, are you talking to me?

Janitor 1: Huh

Me: I said are you talking to me?

Janitor 1:Uh, no.

Me: So what’s your problem?? You! Are YOU talking to me?

Janitor 2: Uh, no.

Me: What? Both of you are not talking to me? So what have you just been yammering about?

Janitors 1 and 2: Aaaaahh Nothing.

Me: So shut the fuck up. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Is that what you do? Hang around like vultures and ask for change. And you don’t even have the balls to look me in the eye ha. Yan ang problema sa inyo wala kayong lakas ng loob. You’re an embarrasment to the country kayo pa naman nakikita ng bumibisita dito. (siempre meron pang drama hee)

Me again: I’ll give you my change. Just say you’re PATAYGUTOM. Sigeeeee nnaaaaaa….pag sinabi nyo na PATAYGUTOM kayo bibigyan ko kayo ng pera. Siiiigggggeeeee naaa. Aminin nyo naaaaaaa. Sa asal nyo wala namang kayong hiya sa sarili e. o ano? Eto na yung sukliiii.
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I have to give them some credit they didn’t bite. They walked away and started working.

Eavesdropper on the Bus 2

On the 27 bus one morning, a lady speaking on her cell.

“Hi. I want a divorce…. Yes, you heard it right…a DIVORCE…. Yeah yeah I love you I really do but I want a divorce”

Eavesdropper on the Bus 1

Middle-aged man speaking to his ponytailed male companion (also middle-aged) on the 27 bus (somewhere between Division and Market St)

“Oh thats the Department of Justice Building. I once jumped out of a cake there for a party. And man, did they grope me. EVERYBODY groped me.”

How much

Guy says to Beauty at a bar “Would you sleep with me for a million bucks?” “Sure,” says beauty. “Would you sleep with me for $10?” “What do you think I am?” asks Beauty. Guy says “I think we established what you are, now we are negotiating price.”

The Hasselhoff

Here is something all Knight Rider and Baywatch fans must see